Divorce of parents would bring a devastating effect on children. Many people think that at the age of the children who have a minimal effect of the divorce, because the children do not understand anything and have not been exposed to the lives of older people.
It turned out that the impact of divorce on children depends on age and stage of the child's psychological development. Therefore, parents need to really understand the effects and the needs of the child who is different.
According to Anthony E Wolf (1998) in his book "Why Did You Have to Get a Divorce? And When Can I Get a Hamster?", The impact of parental divorce there are two under the age of the child, namely:
Children ages 0-2 Years
The main psychological issues of childhood development is the establishment of a special strong attachment to the primary caretaker or the people in the life of a child. Children need continuous contact with at least one caregiver to form the initial attachment of the fundamental love.
Stickiness is the basis for the achievement of well being (well-being)-a sense that I loved and special, as well as the capacity of the child will love in the future. Fortunately, in most divorce where minor children are involved, the presence of at least one parent who loves the most important of all, the requirements are not significantly disturbed.
After the breakup, usually one parent is no longer at home on a regular basis or have daily contact with anak.Risiko against loss of daily contact with both parents at an early age is that these parents may be settled quickly and will fade in the life of the child's whereabouts. If both parents remain involved with children who are still very small, sometimes parents are the main worries about treatment / care provided.
The issue is whether he is a loving parent to child. It would be nice if you maintain contact with the former, pushing, and helping to make it more comfortable for the child's best interests.
Children ages 2-5 Years
Children this age are looking to lose one parent who is no longer the same roof with him. For example with the question: "Why did my father go, I miss, pengin father back." When a parent goes, the greater the terror lurking behind their minds. For example: "If the father is gone, maybe the mother will also go."
The main issue is the change of divorce and loss. Children do not like these two things as frightening. Their confidence, confidence that what they want will always exist, has been disrupted. A blow has opened their basic sense of security. The main reaction to the loss of their confidence is to withdraw.
They are more reluctant to take risks. They need time to rebuild confidence that has been damaged. Meanwhile, they also need reassurance that you still exist and will not abandon them. Children may seem too small to understand all the changes that occur, but you still have to give a simple explanation that is honest enough to understand them.
If the parents tell what was going on, will make a difference in the lives of preschool children a little easier. However, be prepared if, even after the provision of support and explanation, children are still confused and kept asking why the father did not live together anymore. The real thing they want is for everything back to its original state.
A final word
If the divorce the couple can no longer be avoided, so this does not try to harm the child. Husband-wife had indeed split, but whether as a parent should also take a divorce? The children desperately need love from both parents and still want the two to become part of their lives. For children, the development of confidence and well-being of themselves are also dependent on the expression of affection of his parents.
If you have experience of divorce or you become a victim of divorce, please write a comment below or you can also share your experiences or you can also give motivation to those who are experiencing or who are victims of divorce. I am waiting for your comments. Thank's ....
